Journey to the unknown

A better change

2006-06-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

Makeup, perfume, and money- I am ready to fit in the crowd.

As I ran in a hallway of never-ending mystery, the heel of my 2-inch high stilettos was dispersed yet I still continue moving to my destination: self-pretentious world. Then suddenly I stopped in a corner were a dusty mirror hangs in the wall. Slowly I look at my reflection and notice that this isn’t me all the time. Why would I replicate other people’s move and bragging about everything where I could rather opt to be myself? The face behind these glamorous clothes, sassy actions, luxurious gadgets was completely unveiled and so my mask was broken. No more Miss Vague and masquerade playing was over.

~~Makeup, perfume, and money- I am ready to fit in the crowd.~~

Candid, authentic, and simplicity- calculate them up and you’ll easily distinguish me from other people.

What I want for my birthday

2006-05-04T21:54:00.000+08:00

       Your consideration for my truthful apology of being unable to keep posted a couple of days is vastly appreciated. I barely contain a split of second to update due to internet connection errors. Anyway, as I was surfing the web lately for some brand new phones, these Nokia mobile phones wedged my eyes and delight my taste because of their amazing features. I know it’s markedly early to desire it as a birthday gift since my birthday will still be 5 months and 11 days from now but I just can’t stop dreaming about them.

       The Nokia N80 is a quadband GSM device that supports 3G and Wireless LAN, Bluetooth wireless technology and infrared connectivity boasting email, personal organizer, MP3 player and 3 megapixel camera. So now you can talk in pictures, argue in film, shout in color and laugh in song. There's an endless story unfolding around you. Add your piece to it, in any form your mind imagines.
       A go-anywhere pocket-sized computer that marries passion and productivity. Conduct video conference calls or share files during your conversation. The Nokia N80 even comes equipped with Nokia PC Suite so you can keep your device and your compatible PC in harmony.
       Produce your personal soundtrack with Nokia XpressMusic. Download digital music, create playlists or listen to FM radio with up to 27 hours of battery time. Transfer music between the Nokia N80 and your compatible PC or home stereo via WLAN or USB. Store more music with the miniSD card. And hear it all on a variety of compatible stereo headsets.
       Capture bright, breathtaking photographs with the 3 megapixel camera, integrated flash and up to 20x digital zoom. Close up mode makes details dynamic. Print from your office, online or on the go with Nokia XpressPrint solution. What's more, with Nokia XpressShare you can share your masterpieces quickly and easily via MMS, email and Nokia Lifeblog or Kodak Mobile service. View digital video and photographs shot with the Nokia N80 on your compatible home TV via WLAN.

       Groove on the go. It's a premium music device that snaps 2 megapixel photos and has smartphone features too. Rock out to the integrated FM radio with Visual Radio support. It has glorious stereo sound. Meet the Nokia N91.
       New music for days. With up to 4GB of storage, there's room in here for 3000* songs. Your smartphone already goes everywhere you do and now your music will, too. Seamless switching between the integrated functions makes this combo the perfect pairing – maybe even better than wine and cheese.
       Off the computer and onto your Nokia N91. Just drag and drop your ripped CDs onto the device. With USB 2.0, a WLAN* wireless connection and Microsoft Media Player 10, your tunes are at your fingertips. Stream something new or buy on the fly. You could plug in your headset or play it out loud – connect right to your home stereo with the standard 3.5mm jack. Turn it up.

       Transform the way you see, shoot, shape and share your stories. There's a life changing moment around every corner. Capture each one in DVD-like quality video with the Nokia N93 device. See the world with new eyes using Carl Zeiss optics, 3x Optical Zoom. And share every detail of your story in MPEG4 quality video, on the impressive high definition 2.4" display. So you'll always tell stories worth watching.
       Do your stories justice with the Nokia N93. At 30 frames per second, you won't miss a single moment. The MPEG4 technology creates DVD-like video, making all your movies feel like being there. Digital video stabilization ensures you'll always get best shots, even when you're swept up in the action.
       Shooting is just the beginning. Apply the finishing touches to your videos using the Adobe Premiere Elements 2.0 editing software, included in the standard sales package. Then cut, merge and add effects to your videos, creating home movies with ease. Burn professional looking DVDs at home right on your compatible PC.

       I can’t decide on which phone is worth lobbing your money in just a snap. I’ll be grateful for your comments and suggestions.

       Lure yourself. Be inspired. Nokia Nseries shall conquer thy sympathy. You could check http://www.nokia.com for more info.

Anxiety strikes

2006-04-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

       I will be joining the Candy Teen Model Search this year. Go and laugh at me now. Lol. Tomorrow will be the last submission of entries and I haven’t submitted my form yet. I want to ask for your support guys and a lot of prayers from you will be a big help to me. My parents don’t know about this because they will force me to back off this competition. I’m not expecting any positive track backs from the Candy editors because I am not the model-type of person but I know I could stand out and be a model in my own way. All I want is to fill this hole in my heart. Again, loads of prayers are very much in need. I hope everything is well at your end.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” ─Henry Ford
       I think it’s an honor to be a role model to one person or maybe more than that. If you are given a chance to be a role model, I think you should always take it because you can influence a person’s life in a positive light, and that’s what I want to do. That’s what it’s all about.

       I will be liken to the raindrop which washes away the mountain, the ant who devours a tiger, the star which brightens the Earth; the slave who builds a pyramid. I will build my castle one brick at a time for I know the small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking. I will persist until I succeed.

       So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist. For now I know one of the greatest principles of success; if I persist long enough, I will become a role model for everyone.

Again, for the hundredth time, I’m asking for your support and faithful prayers.

Cell phone-less summer

2006-04-25T19:00:00.000+08:00

There are lots of people who come across my life. Some just passed by whereas others strolled along my path. Somehow, out of this twists and twirls our lives could have taken, and out of all the chances we might have ignored, it virtually emerges like we were given a meant-to-be moment─ to meet, to get to know each other, and to set the stage for a special togetherness. Oh crap! I’m swimming from my filthy imaginations again. Lol. Maybe because Kezzia and Kirstein already got there tan by playing tennis blissfully and tread their best foot forward. So I’m left inside my room flooded by the dusty old books that I haven’t read yet. I might have been conceded away by the endearing poems I’ve been appraising these past few days since my mom won’t let me out of this mayhem. Reading and writing are my only sensational past time to sneer my stress this docile summer.

Nikki and I maltreated the telephone discussing about perky stuffs that soaked our wits until 4:30 in the morning. My hair was a frizzy mess as I woke up around 1:00pm with the sunshine illuminating my face and clarifying my eye bags. I don’t know what banged my mind when I rummaged around in my closet, found my diary, and pulled out the red cap Mark had traded with me during our last day together. That must be a sign of insanity. Anyway, I decided to turn off my dear cellphone and junk it for two months. Label me foolish but that’s the way I care. No more texting 24/7 and I’ll savor my goodbye to those anonymous stalkers.

Dare to fall again?

2006-04-17T15:08:00.000+08:00

Not.

       The toll road to success is more often than not a rocky lane. You will stumble, you will fall but you will eventually reach the top if you aim for it.

       People all have their fears: Fear of seeing ghosts, fear of meeting new people, fear of creepy insects, and even fear of sitting down. Do you know what I am most afraid of besides icky spiders?

       Loving. Yes, you got it precisely. I am underneath the alarming spell of Philophobia. But I know I’m not alone. Actually, there are millions of people who are afraid of it too because they think they will be rejected and get hurt like me. If anyone here knows how to overpower this kind of fear, please let me know.

Strings of amfyness

2006-04-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

       “Workshop? Wala ‘yan. Hanggang pangarap lang ‘yan.”

       My life doesn’t echo the kind of suite that 14-year-old girls out there heed of. My whole family is truly proud of me, but I’m not pleased. Why? It is for the simple reason that although my life seems perfect, my spirit is not free. Don’t get me wrong! I’m quite satisfied with my achievements and grateful with the kind of living my parents have given me. However, no matter how hard I try to find a hole to get through the modeling industry; my parents are blocking it compactly.

       It pains me that I won’t comprise the chance to be who I truly want to become. Sometimes, when I speak, they don’t listen. When I explain, they shut me out. When I defend myself, they don’t pay attention to me. It seems like I don’t have a right to be heard. I don’t charge my parents for being super strict with me. I don’t think I have the right to blame anyone. I comprehend that I’m their only daughter since my sister and my brother have their own family already. They assume it is right to be more cautious but I think they should stop treating me like a baby who hasn’t yet taught to stand by itself. The only problem is I can’t breathe any longer. In fact, I’m suffocating and I feel zip in these strings of amfyness.

       All of my struggles have motivated me even if I know I might not be able to use my flair efficiently. I know there is more to life than this. I always tell myself that modeling is not just posing in front of the big lights; instead, it is by showing an exceptional essence for the whole world to contemplate. Maybe life is not just about what I want because no matter how greatly effort I put into it, I still can’t rebuff the fact that my attempts are not working.

       I deem that dreams come true in the future; now isn’t the right time. Sometimes, we need to deal with life’s flaws. As the saying goes, “Be who you are, say what you feel, because the ones who matter don’t mind, and the ones who mind don’t matter.”

Grimy life

2006-04-14T13:52:00.000+08:00

Turning fifteen is no big deal especially when you’re a gawky kid like me. Meeting your “the one” is a dream every girl wishes for. As children, we’ve all hoped for the day we’d be carried off into a far-away land, set against the proverbial sunset on our knight’s noble steed, eagerly waiting the end of the day when our prince would gallantly set us down on a grassy plane, whereupon we hope to experience our most sacred first kiss, or so we thought. But living in this world teaches us that not all fairy tales end happily ever after. In reality, girls don’t always end up living in castles or marrying the prince; more often than, they end up brokenhearted, alone and abandoned.

Hot-tastrophe

2006-04-13T13:18:00.000+08:00

       I’ve always loved spending summers at the beach with my family when I was a kid. Warm walks on the sand, star gazing, creature hunting during low tide, and by the end of the day, just before the sun disappears in the horizon, making a wish.

       My whole family will be heading to the beach today to feel the cool breeze of the air except for me. Ako na lang daw ang magbabantay ng bahay. I wouldn’t get a tan and I wouldn’t get to wish on my sunset, but the next time around, when I do get my tan line and I do see my sunset: I would wish far more than a new toy or a cute boy… I would make a wish for the people who became close to my heart last summer.

       Anyway, I just got an anonymous e-mail asking me:

How do you think you could be a good role model for the kids all over Asia?

I could be a good role model by being myself. I know this is a trite answer but it could not be truer. Many of us are easily influenced by our environment and the people around us, so the most difficult thing to extract is one’s unique personality. And by encouraging individuality without encroaching on others’ style.

Laugh out loud. Dude, whoever you are and if ever you are reading this, I hope you’ll get satisfied with my answer.

Destiny of Dreams

2006-04-12T11:39:00.000+08:00

       I hope that someday, destiny will take me to the journey of a thousand miles. My dreams will convey me somewhere to the time that it shall prevail. There are images I prolong to see that portray what is waiting for me. Is it failure and sadness? Or perhaps allowing for success and happiness?

       Dreaming for significant things and hoping for better beginning are what I come across forward for tomorrow in order to guide me in the crossroad of sorrows. I always cherish the dreams of fulfillment and reminisce toward every achievement. I constantly believe in what I can be and tap new beauty waiting for me. To my fate is where I’m heading in the times that I am dreaming. That’s why I will continue to strive because I want colors in my life.

       I can’t bury this feeling from you. My mind refuses to stop thinking of who we were. Remembering the fresh scent of the grass as I turn back to our sweet memories, I evoke us owning one single cap. We complete our day by smiling and staring at each other’s eyes. Our friendship was real without any lies.

       I can still feel the warmth of your hug while we were standing close like no one’s around. “Hindi na ako babalik”, tears had fallen from my eyes of brown as I heard those lonely words you’ve spoken. I should have enjoyed the last days that you were here so we could pull together more blissful memories. Rapidly came the day of your departure which is the start of your new adventure.

       Thinking of you is all I’ve ever done through the days that you were gone. I can’t help but cry whenever I feel while I carry my feet wherever I go. And now, it’s been quite a time as I spend my days filled with intense tears. Why am I posting this entry anyway? By chance, someday you’ll be able to read this.

       But whatever happens, as time drowns in the sea, promise me that distance will never bring us apart. For you are my brother, my keeper, my friend, and my love for you will never end.

Drama session ended.

He is my best friend (Sandalan)

2006-04-11T14:10:00.000+08:00

My song: Lagi Mo Na Lang Ako Dinededma

       You should learn to express your feelings to the one you love because that person may just pass on your life and you’ll never see them again. I rewrite this story that I got from a website:

       I was on 2nd year high school then, there’s a guy who was my “so-called” best friend. I really love him as mush as I love myself. Every after class he’ll come to me and copy those notes he missed. He will say thank you and pinch me on my cheeks. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

       On 3rd year high school, during our prom we already decided that if the two of us has no prom dates, we will be. I have no prom date, while he has, but didn’t come, so both of us became partners. After the prom he said thank you and pinch me on my cheeks. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

       On 4th year high school, we watched one romantic movie. And on the mall we were having fun. We also studied together in the library. After all he’ll only tell me thank you and pinch me on my cheeks. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

       On 3rd year college, we made our projects very well. Actually we were the best because of our great teamwork. Our grades were higher than before. All he can say is thank you and pinch me on my cheeks. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

       On 4th year college, our grades were good. We graduated and he cried on me and says he’ll treasure our friendship forever. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

       After five years he married. I was the maid of honor on his wedding. On his room he cried in front of me and said I’ll miss you. While walking on the aisle he was crying, I cried too but he didn’t notice me. I want to tell him I love him. But I’m afraid because he never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

He got his own family...

       After fifteen years; I cried looking at his coffin. For many years I sacrificed my longing for him. There was a time, in front of his grave; they read the diary of his school years saying:

She was my “so-called” best friend. I always thank her and pinch her on her cheeks. I want to tell her I love her. But I’m afraid because she never sees me like that. I’m afraid and too shy and I don’t know why.

I cried after hearing those lines... I was very regretful... Why I didn’t let him know? How come I’ve only realized now? Now that he’s gone?

...mahal kita.

Anticipating for the day we meet once more

2006-04-11T10:57:00.000+08:00

Don't mind the title.

       Since world-weariness continues to imprison my life this summer, I decided to make a new layout for my blog that truly reflects my persona. My zeal for computer will constantly remain perpetually in my heart.

       Sometimes life is so perfect isn’t it? It has to be, to make up all the hard stuffs enclose our way. We have to learn to walk, how to talk, and the art of letting go. Things happen and you just have to know how to deal.

       The extreme heat of the ambiance is starting to smack my mediocrity. Ano trip ko ngayon? I will continue to eat until my stomach bloated out, start to study until my brain burst into pieces, gorge the television pending for the smoke to come out, and capture myself asleep sporadically trapped from never ending dreams.

A new and better me

2006-04-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

       We need to grow old in order to become a better person. These problems that we are facing right now are just mere illusive dreams. You can not run them at your entire life. Facing the legitimacy is what we need to remove those thorns that keep on pricking us. Bakit ba “love” ang pinaka prinoproblema ng mga tao ngayon?

       What I felt lately wasn’t love at all. Maybe it was just affection or some sort. He acted like an imprudent child. Isn’t it silly that he can just see her in me? He doesn’t even know me. Nakikita lang niya sa akin ang taong mahal niya, which isn’t me after all. It’s time for me to take one step forward. I don’t deserve such imprudent person like him. His generosity is just too good for me.

       Life has too many things to offer: Positive tracts or negative ones. It is just up to us on which path has to accept. And by this, our personality can be mold by the choices we make. I don’t want to lose him. If there’s one thing I would probably like to keep; it is the friendship that we’ve started several years ago. Masaya na ako at naging parte siya ng buhay ko but I need to push through to the next chapter of my life. I’ll let go with your good-bye.

Reality check

2006-04-03T20:29:00.000+08:00

My happiness just turns out to be paler. It seems like it was drown by the sees and accidentally fades away. I am badly in need of a tight hug here. Huhu. So much for a short entry, I still need to fix myself. How long will I kept on pretending to be happy?

Nightmares are finally over

2006-03-23T19:31:00.000+08:00

I spell TROUBLE gravely by wrapping a shameful grade of 70 in our Biology class. Who would have foreseen themselves to excel in this meticulous subject? No one does. Asa pa kami na makakapasa dito. A two-inch thick book doubtfully fits in my tiny brain. Hindi talaga kakayanin ng utak ko ‘to. That’s all for now, I still need to finish all my requirements.

Born to shop

2006-03-18T17:49:00.000+08:00

       What’s taking place with me now? We went to school at 7:00 am just to pay out five uninterrupted hours listening to the voice of our monotonous Math teacher, Sir Jake, babbling about numbers and more numbers. Algebra is so baffling. Ang hirap! It’s a marvelous thing that I passed all the quizzes and recitation lately. I swear to study even harder.

       After all of those hard works and drowsy time with Sir Jake, next stop: McDo! My stomach is really pleading for French fries and a burger. I feel upset that I don’t have enough money, so does Nikki. Wala kaming ginawa kung hindi magpicture-picture.

       I got a hilarious time shopping with Eca at the mall. Ang dami naming nabili! Two clothes from Penshoppe were added to my growing collection of tees. Shopping 24/7 is what makes me a total shop-a-holic. Nakulangan ako ng pera kaya hindi ko nabili lahat ng gusto kong bilihin.

Stuck in the middle

2006-03-15T20:07:00.000+08:00

Stuck in the middle of I-don't-know-what-to-do situation. Ever wonder how to manage your two close friends fighting for one girl? They're making me nuts! If only I could just kick their butts all the way through and make things trouble-free. Ano ba ang nagustuhan niyo sa kaniya? To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. Kaya nga masakit magmahal ng taong may mahal nang iba.

I'll just depart this stain in your clothe saying "Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

A great mom

2006-03-11T11:21:00.000+08:00

Isn’t it funny how my mom insisted to go to Baguio yesterday just to buy 65-peso earrings? Mas mahal pa iyung pamasahe. Lol.

Tomorrow can be too late

2006-03-05T21:12:00.000+08:00

Ika nga nila "Tomorrow can be too late", pagtiyagaan niyo sanang basahin 'to.

       Who would have considered that happiness and life are the focal basis for a good journey? People should be responsive of these two words to ponder. Is there come a time that hits your mind to commit suicide and flee from facing the reality? Well, I do. It’s not necessitating for me to narrate the whole story of my life.

       Since we were very young, we have been taught and conditioned into believing that everything has to have some purpose towards some future which we may... or may not ever reach. Happiness is now... where you are, in this moment, doing what you are doing without worrying about the outcome or trying to get away from something.

       The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges and changes.

       Happiness is a journey, not a destination. For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin− real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, a debt to be paid, and time to be served. At least it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped to see there is no way to happiness− happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is the experience of living life fully in this moment and exploring that this moment has to offer.

       Life is a journey, not a destination. On this journey, many events will have a dramatic impact on your life. Sometimes those events will oblige you to pause, step back and reevaluate how you are living your life. Take my life for example.

       In a journey, it’s the people along the way that make things worthwhile. If you walk a path only concerned with the end ambition, or destination, these people fade into the border as you blindly walk on. Yet with so many encounters along our journeys, it’s important to choose positive and uplifting friends that will lead you on the path to a fulfilling life. Salamat sa mga kaibigan ko na hindi tumigil sa pag-suporta sa ’kin.

       So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... you... your self.

       How you handle this moment... and the next... and the next... will determine whether you will experience happiness today, tomorrow, or never.

Try this one please

2006-03-05T19:49:00.000+08:00

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

Please click here to answer.

To clutch on or to let go, that is the question

2006-03-04T20:45:00.000+08:00

       The toughest part was being friends with him. I was silent in love with him, but to deem the alternative was not a preference for me. I wasn’t geared up to let him go and was pretty determined to keep things afloat. But by hook or by crook, the whole thing turns out to have motivation.

       Let go! You’ve probably heard it several times. But how do you say goodbye to someone you love and has been a component of your existence?

       There appears to be extra soreness and fear in admitting it’s no use holding on. But what about all those romantic memoirs you’ve spend with each other, the dreams you thought you’d both achieve mutually someday, and the pledge to keep trying when something doesn’t effort out? Sorrowfully, not all things work out. The time arrives when life advises out this chapter has ended and it’s time to move on to something else. You distinguish it’s the accurate thing to do. But one way or another it’s the thorniest thing I’ve ever had to deal with.

...tama na

       It is simpler to carry on hording emotions and artifacts that people or dealings in our lives abscond behind. It’s more likely to hold on to past successes and realizations, the material comforts we are used to, and the practices and traditions we’ve been born to.

...’yaw na kitang maalala

       But earlier or afterward, I stumble on, in every core of the turmoil, letting go is the primary step towards someone, or something better. Martyrdom has finally washed out. Huwag ka nang magpaka-tanga. The essence of life is change, and change is foreseeable if we are to live fully.

       Fighting for someone who weighs a bunch to you is a human nature. Holding on to someone or something we recognize gives us logic of security and balance. On the other hand, there are cases in point when it becomes the basis of our imbalance as well.

...manhid na ako

       Letting go is permitting you to mature up. It was complex for me to lease of the contempt, but I mustered my valor and told myself that my sensitivity has presently worn off. One day all the things we make out and all the people we know will fade away ceaselessly. We presently don’t constantly know when it will come about. If we hold on too tightly, we get rope burn.

The key for living a full and happy life is to let go of the baggage.

Opinion of a sole-hearted being

2006-03-04T13:42:00.000+08:00

Why do various inhabitants intend to be so feeler that they have not apprehended their own limitations? To make stuffs clear, I’m trying to summit out that person who takes steps “sugary” at the wrong place in the wrong time. Ang gulo ko noh? Hehe. This might be the psychosomatic effect of me being boyfriend-less.

Mood: upset and irritated

2006-03-03T19:19:00.000+08:00

       Upset. Instead of going to Makati, my mother just cancelled our appointment with JRP and re-schedules it next weekend. Haay.

       Irritated. I so hate ants and I want to kill them! Don't ask why. Err.

       Anyhow, time to end my grievances. I am so not in the frame of mind to fill my blog because I am experiencing sequence of ill-fated actions. Oh, belated happy birthday to Nikki!

And so sportsmanship was given away

2006-02-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

       “Ui! Dito muna kayo sabi ni Sir Ern,” I shouted waving my hand to Karlo and Mark as they enter the school gate. “Wala daw munang aakyat na boys dahil may importanteng sasabihin si Sir.”

       They essentially fell for my phony acting. Hindi nila alam na may naghihintay na surprise para sa kanila sa taas. As they climb up the stairs and twist the doorknob, we eventually shouted, “Congratulations!” We awarded each of them a medal, served them cake, popped some balloons, and music all over. That is how our party goes bang.

       To the athletes who never botched to furnish their ultimate best. Each sweat they worn had paid off. Their radiant talent will always be noteworthy to everybody’s heart. To the vigorous cheerers who were always there to fully-charge the players’ spirits. Loosing our voices is not a plea for us to impede on giving them applause. To the referees of the game that patiently assisted all the events. To all the coaches that imparted their knowledge to the players:

Congratulations.

One way to learn sportsmanship is by loosing.

Premarital sex: moral or immoral?

2006-02-27T21:45:00.000+08:00

       Our generation in the present day has been impure by the youths that are affectionate of premarital sex. Could you conceivably reflect on premarital sex as an ethical hobby for everyone? Is there any certification that this is harmless even if it is done numerous times? Those were just some of the questions that an unmarried individual is trying to come across with an answer.

       As a peak analysis of a fourteen-year old youngster like me, an adolescence if I may articulate, premarital sex is a grimy custom that we ought not to regard. Look at yourself at the mirror right now and try asking your mind, body, and soul… “Kung magse-sex kaya kayo ngayon, makakasiguro kaya kayo na ligtas kayo sa mga sakit?” I know that it is a very thwarting question. But to notify to you straightly, hindi kayo makakaligtas sa mga sakit.

       Let us consider the so-called Human immunodeficiency virus or simply HIV which is known to be a retro virus that primarily infects the vital components of the human immune system leading to the syndrome known as AIDS. In fact, HIV also directly attacks organs, such as the kidneys, the heart and the brain that could cause cancer. Well, my source about that fact is Wikipedia. According to the research of World Organization, 50% of the people who currently have HIV are between the ages of 15 and 24.

       If you’re using condom as a justification to avoid an early pregnancy, assume again men. It reduces the risks of pregnancy but I’m not trying to shout out that it is 100% sure that no child could be form if you use condom.

       Religiously speaking, God created sex to be fun, exciting, and pleasurable. At the same time, though, it is clear in the Bible or whatever religion you are in to that God restricts sexual activity to married couples. (Mapa-Muslim o Kristiyano ka man, Judismo, Hinduismo, o Budismo).

       “Experience” That’s the widespread grounds of everybody. But haven’t they kept in mind that this “experience” could demolish many futures. Instead of studying, nag-aalaga na sila ng anak at an early age. Try to imagine your ates and kuyas na hindi pa kinakasal tapos nakipagsex na sila. Isn’t that disgusting?

       Needless, it is now the time to wipe out the rude custom that has already been started. So if you still accept premarital sex as a decent one. Well, think again. Before I end my speech, I just want to give a final statement− imagine a world where kids are given a job as a mother or father instead of playing and teasing happily around with other kids. Imbis na naglalaro sila ng patintero or nagtatakbuhan all over, nag-aalaga sila ng anak. Wake up. Look around.

Being entirely frazzled

2006-02-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

Since I entered high school, I…

…experienced to be locked by the door each point that I enter late in class. Lalo na sa Biology at AP.
…had a complexity devouring my expenses and by budgeting my allowance.
…turned out to be KFC’s #1 customer, talk about calling them up at lunch for a mash potato and fun shots.
…have given more importance to my belongings because it came from my own money, they are officially and technically mine─ the clothes, accessories, and all that.
…have proven that one can meet REAL friends not only in elementary.
…was revitalized with the verity that people are diverse and that opinions which are different from yours are not necessarily off beam just because you know you are precise.
…hated how my hair got burned and how my skin mislaid its alabaster look from the extreme heat of the sun.
…realized that some boys are such flirts and worse, they assume it’s natural.
…could not acquire that it’s not fun to be an apprentice but still must be good at it.
…roughly looked-for some sleep and an abundance of rest.
…had the ability to accept food enticements. Ang sarap kumain.
…have finally executed a hard punch at the bulletin board.
…got caught up in sports and not only that, it’s badminton.
…started having tons of crushes.

I necessitate finishing all my major papers, case study, and requirements by the end of the month or I’ll be toast. A handful of assignments buried my time from enjoying a serene atmosphere and I feel so pressured.

Gotta’ grasp my dream and my life

2006-02-24T23:32:00.000+08:00

       Knock out. I’m watching Pinoy Big Brother right at this instant and my eyes are diminishing down.

       My mother somewhat staggered me with a letter coming from John Robert Powers (JRP) International. I can sense my adrenaline kicking off my butt and waking me up telling me that one of the most popular agencies in the world had just sent me a mail telling that they are interested to glimpse me for a one-on-one screening in acting, modeling, personality development, hosting, leadership training, and so much more projects waiting for me.

       Oh God, could this be my once in a life span prospect to be discover? Please let me know. Only a small number of fortunate people can receive a personal letter from JRP. What a surprise. I will catch this opportunity to pursue with my dreams. I’m off to Makati next weekend.

       I can’t wait to get together with the staffs. I can’t wait to start enhancing my skills. I can’t wait to prove what I can do. And I can’t wait until summer! Phew.

Serendipity smacks at its endpoint

2006-02-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

       “Hindi nila alam ang ginagawa nila,” I grouch rising up my voice. “Palibhasa kasi mga walang pinag-aralan!”

       Those were just a number of lines I enjoyed portraying as a sassy mean girl, Andrea. A whole day of acting, singing, and dancing were given to us including the 3rd year to present in front of countless faces. The boys performed great especially Aldrin who depicted the role of a ghastly boy image. Too bad I haven’t able to witness the other groups as they convey their dramatic appearance. Kuya Anas made the crowd jubilant as he dances charmingly while singing “This is what Dreams are made of”. Everyone showed a spectacular production that amplified nonstop applause from the viewers.

       Yesterday. A sudden news captured our hearts when we found out that Mr. Lozano, father of ate Cecille and chairman of the HSPA, had already passed away. Many had cast their tears and sorrow since he is undeniably a great man and have done well for everyone and to the school itself.

       Ever wonder how will I spell my love life? Z.E.R.O. Well, so much for serendipity speaking.

Eternity is not the limit of my love for you.

Sawi Day

2006-02-21T20:28:00.000+08:00

Bangag.

       “Manhid na ‘to pare,” that’s my promising word to Nikki as I position my fist to my chest. “Ayaw ko nang masaktan. Tama na. Kahit sino pang lalaki diyan.”

       “Ouch,” I said, wincing.

       I can see the question marks on everybody’s faces. “Ba’t ang sungit mo ngayon?” Kris wondered out loud. “Ok ka lang?” I didn’t respond and make believe I didn’t hear anything.

       Kris tapped my back anxiously. “Sila na ba?”

       Still I didn’t answer. This couldn’t be happening, I thought.

       Everyone was so eager to found out why on Earth I am not in the mood today. Karlo, George, and Kris pulled their arm-chairs toward me and stared my eyes grinningly.

       “Nakakainis!” I stared them back one by one. “Ba’t ba?”

       As I summarize ‘em up, my annoyance is caused by a dim-witted peroxide tattoo. No more sympathetic-hearted Camsi. Good-bye able-to-carry-a-guy-talk Camsi. And I will kiss farewell to lustrous-smiling Camsi.

       “I hate you,” I burst in front of him looking straightly at his eyes stopping myself from telling him the truth.

Everything is genuinely history

2006-02-19T17:52:00.000+08:00

…opportunity knocks only once

       It took me 15 consecutive hours meddling for a long lost thing which is a part of my past. Don’t mind me. There’s a great deal of guilt showering my heart at this minute. I used to have man-hater feelings only to found out that this devastated my entire life if I’m not overstated.

       If only my brain didn’t contradict my heart the night he conveys his three words for me. If only a minute or two was given to me to think of my naive reply for him. If only reality knocks on my door and oblige me out from false nightmares. If only keeping my “pride” is so not immoral. Sana dineretso ko siya at sabay sabi ng, “Oo.” And live my life merrily for the past seven months.

       Oh c’mon. So if you guys were a bit curious what I have been looking for, I’m pleased to share to you that it’s just a printed YM! conversation with someone.

       They say the strongest of friendship are shaped through the creepiest of ways. And as for me, sustaining an unlock communication and coping up with things will surely help me all throughout.

       If we’re destined to be together, then let it be even if it means waiting forever. I’ll wait just to fulfill our destiny.

Time to loosen the grip

2006-02-18T11:56:00.000+08:00

...and leave everything from behind

       My nuisance won’t permit my anxiety unruffled these past few days. I never stopped bugging people with this situation I’m stuck in.

       To whom I will utter my I-will-wait-for-you vow? 1The boy by no means failed to prove his care and thoughtfulness for me? 2The guy who showcased his “undefined” bright side even for a short time? 3Or the man whom I feel safe and secured when I’m with his presence? Prevaricating among them is not the painless way to get out of this dilemma.

       Teach me to stop caring when I think of what we were. Teach me to stop crying when I see you there with her. Show me how to live again when you're not here with me. Show me how to fight the fact that we're not meant to be. Tell me that I'll be alright and my life will be okay without you right here by my side to hold my hand each day.

Teach me to let go and let these teardrops wash away.

I wish to press the reset button

2006-02-15T21:22:00.000+08:00

Talking about déjà vu…

       Remember last year’s intramurals? When we were at our first year days, the boys gone astray against the sophies and the girls lost against the juniors. I’m talking about the basketball thing.

Well, today’s headlines would be:

Juniors dashed its way to the finals
       MOTHER GOOSE─ The juniors are no strangers in winning the boy’s basketball game two points in a row during the semi-finals series against the sophomores.

Tug-of-war: Sophomores vs. freshmen
       The wide-bodied freshmen won against the sophomores for the first game of tug-of-war girls this morning showing a lot of tenacity and getting a little luck 2-1. On the other hand, the sophomore boys streaked out the freshmen boys with a convincing 2-0.

Rachel strikes back
       “Si Rachel!” shouted Kimberly Mangonon when Rachel Manzano surprised everyone as she arrived from the US this morning carrying a bag of chocolates.

MG seniors take luster off sophomores
       Griselda Bascos scored a two-point shot for the last one second of the girl’s basketball game this afternoon at the quadrangle.
       It was the sophomores who got a stronger team performance in the 1st quarter, with Maila Bince providing the first huge lift.
       Darwin believes a few more adjustments are need in order for them to forge a rubber match. “We believe that the last shot should not be counted,” said the Darwin class “the time had elapsed before the ball was completely in to the basket” they added.

Darwin duo retains badminton league
       Kristoffer Manantan and Mark Gutierrez captured the boy’s badminton doubles this afternoon to cap its successful defense of their first game against the freshmen in the Fest of Fest.

I wish to press the reset button and set things straight. Thus, you can never escape the inevitable; it’s the same as escaping from reality.

Thumbs down for Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

       Being offensive is not my title’s stimulus. Perchance, I linger to be dateless for the past 14 years that I have been breathing in this tremulous world since having a boyfriend is not my foremost precedence in life. In fact, having a conversation with my co-single friends, eating as many foods as I crave, and dreaming of a perfect guy that may perhaps go with my wildest thoughts─ that’s my usual circulation during Feb. 14.

       Anyway, life in school remains as it is. The horror booth was a gigantic strike. Students from different levels kept on coming back for our first-class service and superiority performance.

       Our boy’s basketball squad has the finest troupe ever. They prevailed to their first match against the freshmen. Mark did great during the competition, so does Karlo, George, Aldrin and Kris. Did I forget to cite Ernest? Lol. We merely have six boys at the class but that doesn’t turn out to be an obstacle to surmount the volleyball court. We never rebuffed to applaud the boys up even though we lack voice any longer, “Go Darwin!”

       If you increasingly wonder how the girls gone all the way through, don’t ask. We don’t have the boys’ tremendous innate proficiency. Still, we didn’t bestow up and push through with our superlative attempt. But our score remains slaughtered and we remain murdered.

       In addition, Michelle rocks at the chess competition. And I, myself, stink at word factory. Talk about a freshman thrashes a sophomore as well as a junior and senior out of a game, what a shame.

       What happened to the atrocious monster? One word: annoying.

       To those people who disgust me, for those who are aggravated at me, to the people I love, for everyone who cares, including those who hardly ever remembers me, and most especially to the one reading this, I’ll grab the opportunity to end my entry by saying I Love You! Happy Valentine’s Day!

When faith abruptly gives up

2006-02-14T19:16:00.000+08:00

      Today is the launch of our school’s Fest of Fest. Everyone was so agitated for the said affair. Students are running around in circles with aggravate motivation to watch each of everyone’s performance. The teachers were jam-packed of fortitude to start the day with a superb smile.

      Flushing myself consoling with the horde to begin the oration immediately was a bit sturdy. Kirstein immensely sway the panel of judges with her compelling speech that Cristina had made. Jadel also insert nobility to Darwin by conveying her declamation intensely. Kezzia and I initiate ourselves urging so hard for them not to obliterate things out. Thank goodness the whole thing stream smoothly.

      This day was a total clutter for me. I mess up my piece in sports writing trying to act as if I have watched the news yesterday. Try making a sports news out of a basketball game that you haven’t even watch. What can I do in front of such absurdity? And to formulate things worse, I blew up my voice in news casting uttering a juvenile word to conceal my inaccuracy. I guess I wasn’t born to have a great linguistic skill after all.

      Let’s get enough of my ranting session. Beyond all things, I finally conferred my preeminent shot in editorial writing but I guess it’s not enough to bag the gold medal though.

      To end the day with a first-rate endeavor, we finished covering the room with some cartons for the horror booth tomorrow. It’s unquestionably bloodcurdling and hair-raising booth ever.

      From this day on and tomorrow I will be a stone-hearted individual. I’ll end up my day with my eyes closed and pretend that the whole thing didn’t happen at all.

The real reality TV

2006-02-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

My first tedious entry from the time when I hardly ever update my blog:

Tomorrow would be the big day for my editorial writing event. Here's the scrutiny of my repulsive piece.

The real reality TV

The stampede at Ultra that killed more than 70 lives and injured hundreds of people abated endless finger pointing and finger-wagging among the media and government in equal measure. It’s to be expected on account on how bizarre the catastrophe was. The grounds of the adversity are just too mundane on nature or fate or the gods or whatever nameless power that we believe directs the lives of human beings.

Everybody seems liable. The TV station itself that purportedly capitalized on the poor’s melancholy, the government that has failed to address poverty, the muddled organizers of the event, the power-tripping security people, even the apparently foresight-challenged architects of the venue who never thought that the pathway they designed was too sharply inclined to support a heaving throng or raffle ticket-hungry game show participants.

The chase for the guilty has begun. The victims themselves are probably the only people left to point a finger at. Why did they have to be so meager? Why did they have to be so frantic? Couldn’t they have grabbed what is for them a life-or death opportunity in a more orderly fashion? Of course I jest. What can one do in the face of such absurdity?

Like everyone else, I really can’t set aside reality from fiction anymore. You simply cannot dream this up. And as we continue to be mesmerized by our own anguish, the show, as they say, must go on. This should be a sobering experience, but it’s ultimately easier to pull the wool over our eyes.

By the end of the day, all we could achieve is to implore for the lives of those who past away to be serene and for things to be well at the end. Everyone should be conscientious for this outrageous nightmare not to replicate itself in the future.

Yeah, I know that it's very erroneous for me to post my entry. But for those copycats out there, try not to steal my piece. Make your own.